I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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