I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She even gives head with a lisp.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
