You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
