i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
