She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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