Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
