Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
