Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize