Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
