Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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