toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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