All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
