I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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