two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
