holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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