Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
