So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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