Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize