So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
