Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
