saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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