you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.