Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper