Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.