Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
