If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am spending my child support on dildos
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
