no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
