this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
