But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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