Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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