so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Randomize
