my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
