Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
