Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
