This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry about my life...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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