Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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