Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize