Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
