Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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