Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Randomize
