i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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