Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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