I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize