my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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