dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
