Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
