Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
