Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
