So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
