I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
