my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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