I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
