apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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