I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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