I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
