wanna go halves on a baby?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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