Plan B is the new Plan A
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
