I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
