Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
