so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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