nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
