He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
