I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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